There is a perception that because gay people are in minority group like black people , and face the same kind of prejudices, that you would not find Prejudice against black people by other gay people or the other way round.
Sadly this is not true.
Part of this perception may come from the prejudice that gay people have faced Form the black community.
A black community should remember that it is just as bad To be prejudiced against the gay community as it is to prejudiced against Black people just because of the colour.
How much more difficult is it for A person who is black and gay living in the black community.
With that in mind , the discrimination can be even worse if you are part of An Asian descent.
So you looking for partners narrow to fewer options, as there’ll be a quota of the gay community who will sleep with you, but not have a relationship with you.
As you can see this devalues you as a person especially if you are only Good for sex and nothing else deeper.
There was a quota of the gay community that will not go out with black or Asian people and this is made very clear in their profiles .
So coming from a mixed culture background Can leave you with many questions As you do not fit into any category, What is my culture And or where do I fit in?
There is also a category of people who treat other cultures as if they were an exotic dish on a menu. Do you have white on the menu ? No ! but we do have black or Chinese.
Well, I’ll try By black with a little Chinese on the side.
Sometimes you feel like piece of fashion, that is in style one minute or not in the next.
Like an accessory, A handbag that matches The outfit they are wearing Or maybe just the coat.
I remember saying to a guy that I used to fancy him years ago, and his reply was, But it was a pity as he was into black years ago.
What does that actually mean?
What does that tell you. It feels degrading that you are not seen as a person With a soul and feelings.
I now feel like a second class citizen.
Is finding people of a different descents Like puberty, a stage you have to go through in order to grow up, If that is the case, then these people have not grown up?
I suppose it could be similar to gay men who are going out with women, having sex with them and then realizing that the gay.
Going into a relationship with somebody of different Ethnic background and breaking up with them because of their background or culture Can have the same affects Of deep hurt For those people .
It is not just of rejection of the person But it can feel like rejection of the race Colour or creed, this hurt can go much deeper.
We talk about identity and we understand how hard it is to come out, but for people of other cultures Colour or creed, there are other layers Of identity Which they must come to terms with as well As being gay.
Where does the word exotic come from in relation to people of ethnic backgrounds. this word exotic has a history to it. If you look back in history you will find but this word goes back to the Victorian Times.
You’ll find that it during the Victorian empire that English men got to see women of different ethnic backgrounds.
Victorian women of class in those times did not have sex that, often it was something that happened in relation to having children and wasn’t to be discussed.
Men often went to prostitutes to have the kind of sex they wanted.
Many men went out to Africa are as soldiers to protect the empire, but there were introduced to a different culture that was so different to the home.
Black women and black men hardly wearing any clothing and women barely cover at showing their bosoms. What was forbidden to see in Victorian Times was now allowed. The women In Africa were very different and celebrated sex compared to their Victorian counterparts. Many men would join in the forces to go abroad and taste the forbidden fruit.
Later on, there were even occasions, where high society women starting having relationships with black natives.
High society women were fascinated by these men. The men, according to stories, were very adventurous and open when it came to sex.
Some women even reported that black men were able to satisfy them sexually in a way that the white counterpart men could not. This had led two hostility from the white men in the community. And throughout a series of years a series of insults would build up about black men.
This include phrases like, ” They are beasts in the bedroom.“ This strongly implied that black men were not people and they were animals.
Other insults included, to” being of low intelligence”, being slow, and being beneath white men and that they were superior.
This image has lasted throughout the ages and the beliefs have lasted throughout centuries.
There was the myth that all black men have huge weapons in relation to size of manhood.
This belief has carried on and it clear to see in sex DVDs, which only help this misconception. It took many years before mixed relationships between black and whites heterosexual sexual couples became acceptable.
How long would it take for makes relationships between gay men and women to also be acceptable on the scene? The problem is that this kind of prejudice does not only come from the white community, it also comes from from other communities like the Asian and black and Chinese communities.
So what is the answer?
Maybe I should try and accept and love myself and others with out restraint.
To accept a laugh other people for who they are, no matter, what their sizes, there disability, but traditions, colour, sexuality, gender or background.
To set an example of love and to remind all people what can be achieved when you accept people for who they are. Hopefully we can pass this on light. Like in the movie, pay it forward.
Down on the scene gay people put others down because it makes them feel better and superior to others on the scene.
That is not love or acceptance, which is what we are all crying out for.
I must accept my colour, background, difference and personality and must not be ashamed of those things.
If others fail to see the real me then they have not reach that place of love within themselves and they are not people to be around at that stage.
I do not think it is wrong for people to fancy all be attracted to people who are similar to them.
I know that it takes more courage to explore and get to know people of different cultures and backgrounds.
To straight people gay people of very different. should straight people reject other gay people just because of their sexuality?
Should gay men reject others because of their colour race or creed? When people’s state on their profiles “ no blacks or Asians”.
This statement is very similar to the ones written on restaurant doors and shops in the deep south in America.
It has the same nasty taste of discrimination and prejudice and that rejection can went deep, because it does not know who you are and also does not want to give you a chance to show who you really are underneath the colour of your skin.
There was an example, where men read my profile and really liked what he had seen on the profile, and he asked to see a picture of myself. As soon as he saw the picture he was not interested, as he was not attracted to people of my colour. The message I received was, I was not good enough only because of my colour.
On the gay scene, this can happen very often and hurts other people’s saying these kinds of things, without thinking or being sensitive and do not see the damage or hurt in their behaviour or what they have said.
Gay people know how hard it is to be accepted, but they forget it is much harder to be accepted if you are also of another culture, colour, creed, religion and background.
One size does not fit all, not all Chinese people are clever.
Not all black people can sing.
Not all black people are un- intelligent.
Not all people with red hair have hot tempers.
Not all Irishman are alcoholics.
Not all Asian men are Muslim.
All these are stereotypes because all people are different.
There may be similar traits and customs but we all different. Discrimination and prejudice are the same.
And people of minority groups should learn to be aware and to do to others and treat others the way they are being treated, and not reject people because they are different.
It is something I hope we will all learn soon, so that we will be marching on the same road together in harmony against all kinds of discrimination, fighting for better world.
Jeremy Bedford © 2012
